Monday, December 27, 2010

Wrap It Up: A Safe Space Discussion


What's on your mind at the end of 2010? Tie up those loose ends in an OPEN TOPIC Safe Space discussion this Wednesday!

Wednesday, December 29th
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
7-8:15pm

People of all ages and abilities are encouraged to attend!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

now's out of reach

by: mr anon

she
cracks like a whip and
stings like pinwheel
he
sounds familiar but
my voice is too deep
high pitch, long stretch
far
to reach
they
gather, individuals
pit patter on lone
some roof tops
screech like car tires
coming to a halt
that else no one would hear
on gravel
dirt roads
those are the ones i chose here
just to see
different colors of my gender
on any given day

Friday, December 24, 2010

Red Without Blue Screening Canceled :(



Due to some technical difficulties, our film screening scheduled for December 30th at the Logan Square Library has been canceled. But don't you cry--we'll be back with a bigger and better event in the New Year!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Female Secret, Male Truth

Breasts pushed down and out
Bound in elastic
Hidden by layers
To look masculine

Hips in fitted jeans
Just perfectly so
As not to disclose
An undesired truth

Voice deepened to hide
The true pitch it holds
Just so the world won't
View me as female

Hair kept at short lengths
At all times, always
For fear of letting
This secret public

Why all this labor?
All this extra work?
Just to be seen for
Who I am inside

- NFS

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Only ____ in the Room: A safer space discussion

With the holidays we are often placed in situations where we become hyper-aware of our identities. Sometimes our identities can cause the spotlight to be thrown on us and make for uncomfortable moments or sometimes you want to say something to someone but don't want to "out" yourself in an unfriendly space.

Join us for a safer space discussion about how to navigate the twisted road of identity within groups.


ACCESS LIVING Conference Room
115 W. Chicago Ave.
Wednesday, Nov. 10
7pm-8:15pm


Meetings are welcoming and inclusive of people of all identities and abilities. Researchers and reporters are asked not to attend in their professional capacities but may contact genderqueerchicago@gmail.com for more information.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Trans-Cis-Queer: without words

Over at The New Gay a blogger writes an article about her own experience as a cisgender girl dating a transgender boy, and the problems posed by the available language for relationships from a queer perspective.

Many other transpeople I know have had both positive and negative experiences dating cispeople, and it is always worthwhile to have a discussion about the internal and external complications language poses for such relationships and for queerness general. Our current language is far too limited for the inclusion and recognition of queer relationships and queer lives.

-b

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Betrayal becomes the Love of Two Worlds

By: Mad Rabbit

It is like the betrayal. Every time I open my mouth, I say, "my name is [blank]" because these are my elders and they've just asked me what is my name and my mother's here, and more importantly, my grandmother's here. And for the rest of the day and for the entirity of my trip when they ask for me, when they call for me, when they expect me to respond to this name, this old name of mine, I do. I do because I've trained myself to, because I am not out to them completely. They love me and I believe if I asked them to, they would in fact call me by the name I've chosen for myself. But I don't ask them to understand, to change. My parents are my biggest fans, my parents, in short, are amazing. But a name, a name is everything, and they won't call me that.

A while back I decided I liked the name I overheard myself say over the telephone as a pass code. I thought, "I like this." It's a family name, I don't want kids, I want to be called this, I decided. I began to use this name, later calculating all the ways my gender had been shaped and formed by the name I formerly went by. But that was later, first came the simple fact that I like like the name, that I got to decide, I chose and that at the time, for me, was everything. The transition was miraculously easy, for the most part. At the time, I was living in chicago and the community I surrounded myself with was familiar with the name changing process. So I felt affirmed and I was, without realizing it changed.

I studied psychoanalysis in college, a very specific branch. Lacan believed in the repetition of language, that words and names shape our world, and I take after this thought as my belief. A name is EVERYTHING. So at Thanksgiving, in a room full of people I love, that love me, I kept thinking, why the betrayal? Why not just say? What is so sacred and so coveted about keeping this name right now? Without moving forward and making the next step, am I not still myself if I go by something else?

Every time I realized that I wouldn't much longer be able to be a part of this family without outting what some, most of them, dont know about me, I would stop. I would think, "stop," I know better than to go there. To go there would mean to fight, to fight would mean to battle. The betrayal sometimes becomes the survival. And to survive means to live, and in this particular case I exist with two names, in two worlds that are so full of love for my being. I can't help but try to survive it. The love is there, in two worlds.

Monday, December 13, 2010

GqC Movie Night: Red Without Blue

Join Genderqueer Chicago for a screening of Red Without Blue, a documentary about the bond between two identical twins when one decides to transition from male to female.

Thursday, December 30
5:30-7:30pm
Logan Square Library (3030 W. Fullerton)

This event is FREE and open to the public. People of all ages and abilities are encouraged to attend!

Find this event on facebook here.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Compromise: A Safe Space Discussion


When the going gets rough, we don't always have the privilege or the energy to be our most fabulous selves. That's when we compromise and move through the world in disguise.

So when do we compromise our beliefs, our actions, and our choices for the sake of others and why?

Join us for a safe space discussion this Wednesday!

Wednesday, December 15th
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
7-8:15pm

People of all ages and abilities are encouraged to attend!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Why Ronen is a Time Lord

by Ronen

(If anyone is super-confused by what I've written below, ask me about or look up Doctor Who. It's awesome.)

(Also, a bit of self-promotion. This is a cross-post from my own gender blog: http://mercurys-moon.dreamwidth.org/ )

I recently got back in touch with my spiritual side, something I'd been neglecting for several months. As part of this I did a tarot reading, just to get an idea of where everything was at. The reading told me several things, but one of the larger lessons I took away was the one presented by the card Temperance: forces needed to be united, barriers dissolved. In order to soar above a coming upheaval, to stay positive and learn as opposed to succumbing to despair, I needed to bring together all the various bits and bobs of my life and make them harmonious.

There's three major labels that I believe describe me accurately: I am a pagan, a queer, and a geek. Since that, I've been playing mixologist with my varied identities. I've sprinkled a dash of spirituality in with my gender musings, thrown gender studies in with pop culture, mixed pop culture with magic...

...and I've muddled my geekiness in with my gender.

"Geek" in American society could almost pass for a gender on its own, or at the very least a gender qualifier. Loads of people describe themselves as "girl geeks" or "boy geeks," but "geek" all by itself is a fair enough descriptor. It comes with just as much stereotyping and baggage as when someone describes themselves as a man or a woman. A geek probably knows a good deal about computers and/or video games and/or the internet and/or science, probably reads a lot, probably watches a lot of sci-fi television, probably owns at least a few prop replicas from their favorite films, probably has played D&D at least once in their lifetime. All of this, by the way, is true of me, which is why I'm so comfortable accepting and embracing the "geek" label.

There's more to it than that, though. During the bar-hangout time following a recent meeting of Genderqueer Chicago, I found myself in a discussion about people who even occasionally identify their gender as something imaginary or non-human. These are the folks who will call themselves unicorns or dinosaurs or faeries. Once you've spent enough time in the gender-variant community, you're bound to run into one of these folks, and if you think you haven't yet, well then... Hello!

The conversation basically boiled down to whether these kinds of genders could or should be taken seriously. Most people agreed that they should, at least to some extent, but the real question is how seriously do the unicorns and dinosaurs themselves take it? Is that sort of identity something with real meaning, or is it something to take with a wink and a smile?

As one of those mythical creatures, I can only answer for myself, but I believe the answer is: Yes. Yes it's meant to be taken with a wink and a smile, and Yes it is something with real meaning.

My name is Ronen Mark, and I am a Time Lord.

Go ahead, have a little smirk at that. I know I do. However, that doesn't make it meaningless. If it were meaningless, I could call myself anything. I could call myself a Vulcan or an Elf or a sand worm, but I don't because those specific identities bear no personal importance to me.

When I call myself a Time Lord, I'm simultaneously identifying myself as a geek, and someone who likes to have a good laugh at the expense of the gender binary (or any other structure of normalcy). I'm identifying as someone intensely interested in the world and the way it works, and people and what makes them tick. I'm identifying as an adventurous spirit, someone whose mind is often slightly off in its own little world, someone who's a bit tough to get at emotionally but is a fiercely loyal friend to those who've managed to do it. I'm an old soul with a young heart, a "madman with a box" - which takes on a delightful double meaning when you apply it to gender!

You might say claiming this identity is pointless since a lot of people, especially those who aren't familiar with Doctor Who, aren't going to get all that just from two words. But you could make a similar point about any identity, even "man" or "woman." When someone claims a label, you have no way of knowing what, exactly, that means to them. You learn by getting to know them as a person.

Time Lord isn't the only label I claim for my gender. My true identity is fluid. But when I say that I am one, I am being in equal parts ridiculous and deadly serious... much like a certain Doctor I know.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Women's Golf Says Yes to Trans Athletes

In a landmark vote this week, the L.P.G.A. (Ladies Professional Golf Association) voted to allow transfeminine people to compete on the tour.

The vote could change the way many people talk about professional sports and gender for years to come.

To read more, check out this NYT blurb.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Open Topic Discussion at Access Living THIS WEDNESDAY!


Join us this Wednesday for an OPEN TOPIC safe space discussion at Access Living. Continue the discussion about dating horrors and triumphs from our last meeting at AL, or bring up something else that has been weighing on your mind.

ACCESS LIVING Conference Room
115 W. Chicago Ave.
Wednesday, Nov. 10
7pm-8:15pm

Meetings are welcoming and inclusive of people of all identities and abilities. Researchers and reporters are asked not to attend in their professional capacities but may contact genderqueerchicago@gmail.com for more information.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Our people

**Warning this poem deals with issues of violence that may be triggering to some readers.**

By Anonymous

Our people are peacemakers.
Late nights spent curled under covers,
Nights when flashing lights brought fear of who would be left.
We have scars to trace our fear of conflict.
We grew into people who aren’t worth the fight.

We are community makers.
We make spaces that bear witness to trauma.
We grasp onto things we don’t know how to hold
Because we’ve held hotter before and
The calices haven’t gone away.

We are backroom people.
Tucked behind the dim glare of computer screens,
Behind fantasical scenery backdrops
Making things go smoothly and hoping not to be noticed
By the wrong people.

Sometimes our people have fought too much to know when to stop
Have spent too many night muscles-tensed
In rooms that have never been homes.
Sometimes violence is too familiar to be strange
To our people.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Team Huddle: A Special GqC Safe Space Meeting


Spaces are only as safe as we make them, and this week we're asking all Genderqueer Chicago regulars to come together in that effort.

We're holding a special safe space meeting to talk about what makes GqC meetings feel safe or unsafe, what we can do to support each other in the space, and what are our commitments to one another in the larger world outside.

Please, join us for this very important group discussion!
Wednesday
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)

7pm sharp! - 8:15


This meeting is open, but newcomers might find next week's meeting at Access Living to be a better introduction (you're welcome regardless). GqC meetings are never open to researchers or reporters in their professional capacity.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Transition Timeline (so far)

By Ephemera

2006 September—I come to college and the queers gravitate towards me. I am very adamantly not a lesbian, but I like that they are friendly to me, so I go to their meetings.

2007 September—I start reading about identity politics and cultural criticism. I’m more interested in race and nationalism than gender.

2008 March—My good friend says to me “I know last time I checked in with you about this, you said no, but has anything change with your gender and how you identify?” and I say, “I guess so.”

2008 May—My girlfriend calls me genderqueer, and I am shocked.

2008 June—I start going to trans meetings for research purposes and get involved with trans organizing as an ally.

2008 July—I start binding (way too tightly).

2008 September—I move and donate all my girl clothes (which I hadn’t worn for years anyway) and all of the excessively baggy clothes I’ve been hiding in for years.

2008 October—I start trying out names with my girlfriend in private.

2008 November—I turn in term papers with a new name and change my Facebook name. I don’t ID as trans or request different pronouns. I am uncomfortable when people ask me about it, and most people avoid the topic entirely.

2008 January—I become outspoken about trans issues on my campus. Some people assume I’m trans, and some people are thoroughly clueless.

2009 May—I legally changed my name.

2009 May—I attend the Bash Back convergence. It’s liberating, mind-blowing, and also upsetting. I use neutral pronouns for the first time.

2008 May—Someone calls me a trans guy and I’m wierded out-I don’t want to change my body.

2009 June-August—I work in the activist community and intern with an LGBT organization. I am out but do not pass. The activists are welcoming and affirming, the LGBT organization is not.

2009 July—I come out to my family of origin. The results are very mixed.

2010 September—I start seeing a therapist so I can get a letter to go on hormones.

2010- October—I present workshops at neighboring colleges but am afraid of being outed at work where kids ask me uncomfortable questions and I try not to go to the bathroom.

2010-December—I graduate from college.

2010-January—I get the letter & begin T.

2010-February—I begin attending GQC meetings regularly. I feel at home and recognized in a way I’ve never felt before.

2010-June—I began first “adult” job. It’s the 1st environment where I pass.

2010- June—My voice cracks and it is embarrassing.

2010 July—My mother makes efforts to respect my new identity.

2010- August—My voice has lowered and I am satisfied with my body. I let myself act more femmy. I cut my hormone dose in half so that I can maintain but not continue to masculinize.

2010- September—I bind less frequently (a couple times a week) because I hate not being able to breathe, and I feel more comfortable about my body than I used to. I get more into feminism and gender activism.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Flying Trans: Airport Security and the Genderbent Body

Flying home for the holidays? Check out this article posted on the XX Boy tumblr page about new TSA security policies and what they mean for transgender and genderqueer travelers. As if invasive pat-downs weren't enough, advanced imaging technology (also known as "nude body scanners") lets airport security get up close and personal with what gender-variant folks are binding, tucking, or strapping on. This article seriously freaked me out, but the blogger offers some great words of advice on how to deal with security as a genderbender.

Malic

Monday, November 22, 2010

LOCATION CHANGE! Thankful Family Dinner- Next Wednesday

Family is as family does, and on Wednesday, Nov. 24, the Genderqueer Chicago family join together for a potluck extravaganza! Our usual Safe Space Meeting will be an informal gathering over food.

Join us for our Thankful Family Dinner
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
from 6:00pm-8:00pm

We'll share stories, food, and thanks. This is potluck, so if you can bring something do. If not, that's okay, too! Come regardless. Bring your friend or your love or well, bring who you want.

This event will be held at the Gerber/Hart Library. For food questions, e-mail genderqueerchicago@gmail.com.

Dinner is held in a space that is CTA/ wheelchair accessible.

Consent and Boundaries

By NFS

To me, consent is getting and giving permission to do something that may make anyone uncomfortable or a way to offer help that may or may not be needed. Consent can be given for a range of activities, such as holding the door for someone to hugging to getting intimate. A lot of people don't realize how big of a deal consent can be, or rather, how big of a deal crossing a consent boundary can be. They also don't realize how easily it could be prevented in the first place.

The key thing about consent is communication. This not only means verbally talking about it, but being able to read body language and even noticing the differences in people's tone of voice when they speak. I know this sounds fairly intense, but anyone can do it. Remember: where there's a will, there's a way. Talking about consent can be a bit intimidating in any situation, more so in an intimate one, but it's to better improve the time and activities shared for all involved. Trust me, it pays off!

Think of a time when someone did something that made you think, 'Did they really just do that? Couldn't they have asked if it would be okay to do that?' How did it make you feel? Did it ruin the rest of the time you shared with that person afterward? Most importantly, did you tell them how it made you feel? A lot of people don't realize that they should say something when a boundary of theirs has been crossed. This is also where communication comes into play, especially in a more involved relationship, such as a one with a best friend or lover. It may be scary to stand up for yourself and say, "Hey, I really didn't appreciate when you did this without asking," or, "You know, I really wish that you had talked to me before you did this," but unless you actually tell them, they'll never know and may continue to cross boundaries. Some people are afraid that saying, "No," or refusing a proposal of any sort might cause problems with the relationship they have with the other parties involved. But what's more important? Keeping quiet and uncomfortable to save the relationship, or standing up for yourself even if it means losing the relationship? I'm hoping that all reading this chose the latter.

So that touches base a bit more with familiar people, but what about consent with people you hardly know or don't know at all? It still works the same! Sure it might come off as awkward (and potentially pretentious) to let someone new know that something they did or said has made you uncomfortable but, again, if you do not inform them that a line has been crossed, they won't know and may continue to do so. It may also seem silly to ask, "Can I give you a hug?" but it definitely shows that you respect this new person, and the majority of the time they will really appreciate the gesture. If they don't, then most likely they are either uninformed to the concept of consent, or they choose not to embrace the concept which could lead to problems later on.

During the process of writing this, I was talking to a friend of mine who thought I should mention briefly, in detail, on how consent works with an intimate partner. Specifically, they asked me, "How does asking for consent work with each step? From kissing to touching to, well, you know?" My advice for this is to have a talk with the person that you're becoming involved with first. Discussing personal boundaries you and them have is a good way to start. The zine that was linked before has a great section with multiple ways to initiate such a conversation. My favorite one that I came across there was, "So, I make it a priority to be upfront with people (especially with people who I care about)..." From there you can talk about your own boundaries, and then prompt them for theirs. If they aren't willing to open up right away, it's okay. Some people are highly sensitive when it comes to these kinds of things and they may want to build trust before they can even think about talking of such a topic.

Now, being able to sit down and talk beforehand would be an ideal situation, but sometimes things can move really fast, such as meeting someone on a night out. Don't ever, ever, EVER hesitate to pause the action to talk about boundaries and consent! "I'm really into you, but before we go any further I want to check in about a couple of things..." or, "I really like you, but I have some things I want to discuss before we continue..." are good ways to do so, followed by what you feel comfortable doing at that point in time with them. Then if you plan on continuing to be intimate with them, you can have a more in-depth boundary conversation later.

Keep in mind that while you are in the middle of things, it is perfectly fine for you (or them!) to say if something makes you uncomfortable, or if you really like something. Some people have a safe word system in place where if something makes them uncomfortable, they just say a word (which is predetermined beforehand) and the other person will stop whatever it is that they are doing. You can also use the same type of system if you really like something and would want more of it. Again, it would be a predetermined word discussed beforehand.

Also, there is no problem with asking, "Is this okay/do you like this?" or, "Can I touch you here?" It's better to ask and get a positive answer than to not ask and have crossed a boundary!

And the last rule of thumb that I keep when it comes to consent is to always, always, ALWAYS ask permission before touching someone you are not close to (and even at times with people you are close to)! Failing to do so can cause issues and potentially drama. On the flip side, don't ever, ever, EVER hesitate to let someone know if they have made you uncomfortable by touching you, or even by the things they may say! Everyone has the right to exist comfortably in any space.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's TDoR Again

By Tori

It's TDoR again. Can't we skip it this year? Can't we have 1 year without murdered trans people? Knowing as many trans people as I do, and being trans myself, it's hard not to think selfishly and be grateful that it wasn't someone I'm close to. But in reality, these were all someone's family. These were children, siblings, parents, spouses, and friends. We need need to stand together today, but not just today. We need to make this our yearly day of resolutions. Today starts a new year, a new list. This year let's stand arm in arm and make sure no more lives are lost to ignorance and fear.

We fight this ignorance in strangers, and sometimes our own family and friends every day, but we need to extend our arms beyond our own borders. This year there were 91 murders in Brazil, six times more than any other country. Our efforts need to go, not only to whom we share blood and break bread with, but all the people that share our journey to be accepted as themselves. We should all endeavor to be remembered this year, not as an extinguished candle, but as a glowing beacon of solidarity and hope. Let this year be the year we pull together and protect our own, no matter where they call home.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

TDOR Dedication

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
-Audre Lorde

In honor and memory:
Selma Diaz
Sandy Woulard
Quinn Collins
Johannah Baker-Johnson


Forsaken Identity

by Ryan Rio

My body is breaking the construct of binary books on bullshit

My soul has been imprinted with the fluidity of Gods humor

No longer am I lost in the serum of manhood or the subject of an assumer

I never had high hopes of you seeing me as a man

I never claimed to be the patriarchal misogyny that sits on the tip of most dicks

I never said I wanted to be a man, don’t make that assumption

I am a masculine being. I am feminine by nature.

I don’t care for your pronouns for I am neither and both

My vaginal shaft ends at the base of my cock

My breast are perked with muscle

My voice is thick with happiness and shame

Everyone expects an explanation of my existence

Fuck you it won’t entertain

I cannot answer your questions coated in hate disguised by curiosity

I wonder if androgyny still holds beauty when it does not falter when my clothes are at my ankles

Yes I fall under your social umbrella that puts me in a box of trannies with no angles

My sex is intersex, my gender is queer

Like every other gay my rainbow is not on your spectrum

I am gender, its me motherfucker… everything and nothing.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Calling all partners of trans and gender non-conforming people!


Sponsored by Howard Brown Health Center, LCCP, and Chicago Women's Health Center "Chat and Chew" is a space for folks who are currently in a relationship with an individual who identifies as trans or gender-queer.
Meetings on the second Wednesday of the month at 7 pm at the Wormhole Coffee Shop, 1462 N Milwaukee in Wicker Park.
This event is open to all, totally informal and meant to create community.

Questions?
Call 773.388.1600 x3319
lgbtigroups@howardbrown.org

http://www.meetup.com/Partners-of-trans-identified-people-meet-up/

(Please note: this is not a GqC sponsored group)

Quitting the Club

by Little Miss Orphan Tranny

I quit working at the strip club this evening. I went in, filled with anxiety. I didn’t want to show them my ID that revealed I was trans. I didn’t want to try and work the floor with my dreaded hair, but I didn’t want to put the blonde wig on either. I couldn’t tell if the girls were being nice to me because I was leaving, or because they didn’t want me to leave. They like having girls around who are entertaining but aren’t competition. I said to Candy, “I like my body, I think I’m awesome, I think I’m hot. This job is making me not like my body and I don’t feel awesome or hot when I work here. It’s not my crowd; it’s not my scene. It doesn’t fit my lifestyle.” I cleaned out my locker. Wouldn’t that be great if money poured out of it? The magical locker, like a fairytale. I thought it’d be hard to sneak past the doorman. I wanted Candy to cause a diversion so I could sneak out the back. I thought since I owed $200 in backhouse, they would come find me and try to hit me up for money. There was no need to be dramatic. The housemom told me just to tell them I quit, and that I can’t come back to work unless I pay backhouse. So that’s what I did. The manager didn’t even ask questions, he didn’t want to know. The doorman tried to stop me and put me in a cab. I told him I didn’t work there any more and walked to the train. I looked at the clothing in windows as I passed the stores. There was a Mexican bridal store. All the dresses were so bright and garish. Magenta ballroom gown with zebra print and taffeta. I really wanted it for no damn reason other than to look fabulous. This is a wedding gown? Mainstream culture confuses me so much. I don’t understand why you can’t wear these things everyday, and why you have to be a girl to wear a wedding dress…or why marriage exists anyway. Stupid. Thank God I bought a harmonica to keep my mind preoccupied so I didn’t ruminate myself into oblivion. I pulled it out of my pocket and buzzed away at it while I walked to the brown line. How the hell am I gonna make money? I wondered, as I took a mental inventory of my skills, experience and contacts. I just need to put all my chips in 110% and go balls out. If I don’t figure out who I am and do my art and music, I will go insane and or kill myself. I can’t compromise myself for partners, and I can’t do it for money either. It’s just a hairstyle, it’s just a gender, it’s just a group of muscles, it’s just hair, it’s just tits. Well I hate what estrogen does to my body and my mind. I hate how people perceive me as a woman. I would at least be content with confusing them. My brightly colored dreads creeped out of my worn out navy blue hoody. I have always been confused as to why people pay so much attention to me. I’ve never been interested in paying attention to other people. I’m 28 now, and all I can hear is what kids would say to me in high school, “Why are you such a freak, freak?” I always wondered why they were so fucking dull. Why don’t you just live your life and stop judging other people on their personal decisions?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Talkin' Bout My GENDERation: A Mixer for Queer Youth and Elders

Join Genderqueer Chicago for Talkin' Bout My GENDERation: A Mixer for Queer Youth and Elders!

To complement the upcoming vigils for the Transgender Day of Remembrance, we want to honor those we've lost and bring hope to the living through intergenerational mentorship and solidarity.

Come to the mixer and get to know folks of all ages and genders.

This Friday, Nov. 19
at Kitchen Sink Cafe -1107 W. Berwyn (Red Line Berwyn)
from 5:30-8:00pm

Event is free and all ages. The space is wheelchair accessible and has gender-neutral restrooms.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

It Takes Guts: Bravery and Being Yourself


In the midst of events for the Transgender Day of Remembrance, folks in the queer/gender-variant community are honoring the dead and celebrating the living, reminding us that sometimes it takes some serious guts to be who we are.

When have you seen bravery in others? In what moments have you been brave yourself?

Join us for a safe space discussion this Wednesday!

Wednesday, November 17th
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
7-8:30pm

People of all ages and abilities are encouraged to attend!


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Learning Good Consent--a zine for all!


As promised, click here for a pdf of the Learning Good Consent zine, a collection of essays and words of wisdom that look at the culture of consent from a standpoint that is educational, fun, and sexy! Print it out, pass it out, and practice good consent!

-Malic

Friday, November 12, 2010

What's the Plan for TDOR?

Here's an understatement: next week is really busy. It's Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). Transgender Day of Remembrance is held annually to honor trans and gender-variant people who lose their lives for being gender non-conforming.

To simplify, we're providing this list of events. Don't worry, all of this is also in the calendar, and our own events will be posted soon with longer descriptions. This list is just for your convenience.

Wednesday: Genderqueer Chicago safe space meeting. 7pm sharp at The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville). This week's topic... "Bravery."

Thursday: The Night of Fallen Stars. This annual TDOR event hosted by Center on Halsted showcases the talents of gender-variant youth in a variety show performance. Local transgender organizations will be tabling at 6:30pm. Come and meet other folks who are doing great work and hang out with GqC (we'll have a table).

Friday: The Genderqueer Chicago Inter-generational Queer Mixer! In honor of TDOR, we're asking youth, elders, and all in between to come together for an evening of coffee and conversation. Event starts at 5:30pm at Kitchen Sink Cafe (1107 W. Berwyn).

Saturday: Transgender Day of Remembrance public vigil. Starting at 5pm at the Thompson Center (100 W. Randolph), we'll be honoring those lost this year at a candlelit vigil. This event is sponsored by the Chicago Transgender Coalition.

All events are open to people of all identities and are in spaces that are wheelchair accessible. Stay tuned for further information...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Clothing Swap to Benefit Howard Brown TONIGHT!

When: Thursday, November 11, 7pm-11pm
Where: Glasscott's Saloon (2158 N. Halsted)


Drink Specials and FUN!
Cleaning and changing out summer clothes for fall and winter?
Bring them to the pub, and take home some items that will be new to you!

All the proceeds will be donated to Howard Brown, to help us carry on our life saving work. And all the clothing left at the end will be donated to the Brown Elephant Resale Store. Glasscott's is also going to donate $1 from every drink sold to HBHC...so bring your cash! :)

This event is 21+.

For more information about Howard Brown, visit www.howardbrown.org.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Trans and intersex themed films at Reeling Film Festival

There are some trans and intersex themed films showing this weekend at the Reeling film Festival that sound pretty interesting:

The Last Summer of La Boyita (El Último Verano de la Boyita)
Julia Solomonoff (Argentina, 2009, 93 minutes)
In Spanish, with English subtitles
...Instituto Cervantes
Friday, November 12, 2010
6:00 PM

A rare narrative with an intersexed protagonist, Last Summer of La Boyita is one of Reeling’s most anticipated films. This lush Argentinean film tells the story of Jorgelina, the young, beautiful and curious daughter of a wealthy Argentine doctor. On the path from childhood to adolescence, and on her quest for a companion, she meets Mario—a young, hard working farm boy on her family’s ranch. As Jorgelina and Mario spend their summer bonding, she discovers that Mario is not quite like the other boys...or the other girls. Fearing the shame it would bring upon himself and his family, Mario has kept this secret hidden from almost everyone he knows. With the help of his new friend, and her physician father, Jorgelina gets Mario the medical attention that could change his life.
Set in the charming and raw countryside of Argentina, the tweens depend on each other to learn valuable lessons in friendship, acceptance and lost innocence.

Full Description and trailer of The Last Summer of La Boyita: http://reelingfilmfestival.org/?page_id=77&event_id=47

Co-presented by Mint Male Magazine


Other Nature (Tritiya Prakriti), Also Showing "Nobody Passes Perfectly"
Nani Sahra Walker (Nepal, 2009, 57 min.)
In Nepali, with English subtitles

Also Showing:
Nobody Passes Perfectly
Saskia Bisp (Denmark, 2009, 44 min.)
In Danish, with English subtitles
Chicago Filmmakers
Friday, November 12, 2010
7:00 PM

In the documentary Other Nature, two transgender friends journey to Muktinath—a holy temple where both Hindus and Buddhists pay homage—to pray for peace and human acceptance. The pilgrimage proves to be precarious with constant threats of landslides, flooded roads and Maoist violence. Often having to build their own roads as they drive, the audience sees their physical journey reflect the nature of the political and emotional struggle for equal rights. Shot in HD, Other Nature is a striking film with lush Himalayan landscapes, cascading rivers, crowded open-air markets, and ancient Hindu and Buddhist temples.

Nobody Passes Perfectly is a subtle, humorous and insightful documentary about growing and changing. Through a series of beautiful filmic tableaus, film director Saskia Bisp explores a world where gender is not a fixed and locked identity, but one only rooted in biology and a very personal part of oneself that can be challenged or changed. Following Tomka and Erik, both in different phases of their transitions, the film explores their joys, fears, and the basic personal truths that carry them through this step in their lives.
Two of the festivals most visually striking documentaries, both films explore the true nature of gender.

http://reelingfilmfestival.org/?page_id=77&event_id=48

Our Gender Identities—short film program
Total: 83 min.
Film Row Cinema – Columbia College Chicago
Saturday, November 13, 2010
12:00 PM

In a world where bathroom doors only acknowledge a dual gender system, what about those that don’t conform to the binary? The characters in these short docs and narratives all break imposed gender boundaries, giving hope for a future where lines of sex and gender are recognized to be as fluid as they truly are.

Spiral Transition (Ewan Duarte, USA, 2010):
A mother’s perspective changes as she learns to accept her child as her son, not her daughter.

The Crossing (François Tessier, France, 2009):
Every day, a young woman boards a river cruise boat to gaze at the gruff captain; and when she learns that he’s leaving, it becomes urgent that she expresses her feelings.

Everyday to Stay (Chase Ryan Joynt, Canada, 2010):
A gritty and vulnerable glimpse into the lives of two couples as they navigate love, identity and commitment through one partner’s gender transition.

Remember Me in Red (Hector Ceballos, USA, 2010):
When a transwoman dies, her friends must figure out how to honor her when she is buried as a man by the parents who never knew about her transition.

I’m Just Anneke (Jonathan Skurnik, Canada, 2010):
Parents learn how to support their young child as she develops her gender identity, and accept her freedom to identify herself in any way she sees fit.

Amateur (Daniel Treviño, USA, 2009):
While floating on a lake, a boy meets a girl going through some changes. He must decide if the new friendship is worth the confusing circumstances.

http://reelingfilmfestival.org/?page_id=77&event_id=51

-Aidan

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sonnet

by RoRo

Forever have I longed to be desired,
But not as a fair damsel in a tower.
Forever have I longed to be admired,
But not for looks which fade within the hour.
The glory that I seek is of this kind:
The realm of princes, jesters, fools of grace;
If you would praise me, praise my nimble mind,
My courage, or the laughter I embrace.
For though my spirit wanders far and wide,
I shall not, like some maiden, float away.
You'll find yourself drawn closer to my side
And in that closeness shall I hold your sway.
Thus captive and content you shall observe:
Close enough to touch, have you the nerve.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Categorizing and Educating People

By Natalie

Without categories the world would be a much more confusing place. Categories help us understand the world around us, such as plants and animals. If you know that the Red Fox is in the genus “vulpes”, then you know that it will share similar characteristics with all other foxes in that genus. Categories give us a place to start when looking for something in particular. Maybe you don’t remember the title of that movie, but know that it’s an action movie. So, if you’re looking for that movie on Netflix it would be a very good idea to start in the “action” category. I am very good at creating categories for photographs and putting photos into the categories that they belong; without categories I wouldn’t have a job. In a nutshell, categories help us understand.

When it comes to categorizing groups of people things get tricky. Often, people don’t agree with the category they were put into and sometimes they don’t think the person doing the grouping has a right to do so at all. Categorizing people often makes certain groups feel marginalized, misunderstood, and subjected. Transfolk in particular often feel that we are being put into the wrong groups. The classification of our gender choices as a mental disorder is of the utmost of our problems. We also have to deal with being called lesbians when we are really men, being called gay men when we are actually women, and being labeled as transvestites and cross-dressers. After we get labeled as “transgendered” then there are more problems: are we still transgendered after the transition is complete, are we now labeled as MtF or FtM when we are women and men like everyone else? And of course, there is the problem of “having” to be one gender or the other: what if you are neither, or both, or something different altogether?

We have to understand that sociologists, anthropologist, doctors, psychiatrists, and everyday people are just trying to understand us. If something has no tangible definition, no generally accepted consensus of what it is, then how can you work with it in any capacity? I think that when meeting someone new, most people notice if they are male or female and from that that basic starting point begin to construct a person. Without that fundamental category, where do you begin?

I will not categorize myself because I already know all about me; I have nothing to gain from a category. However, I understand if other people categorize me when trying to understand who I am (and what my gender is). But if they mistakenly put me in a category that fundamentally misrepresents who I am, then I will correct them. And if need be, I will educate them.

So many times transfolk seem to get angry at having to explain what “transgendered” is/means. It’s true, it may be easier to let people remain ignorant and avoid a potentially lengthy conversation, but what have you accomplished? Had you educated them, there would be one less person in the world that would ask you that question. Had you educated them, there would be one less person in the world that would ask me. Had you educated them, you would have made them see things in more than just pink and blue. If you have the opportunity to educate someone and refuse, you have no right complain about the ignorance people have towards being transgendered. And I don’t mean educate people every day, or do it when it puts your body in harm- just do it once when you don’t want to. Just do it once when it will be awkward. Just do it once when it won’t be easy. Just do it once when it seems like a lost cause.

If we don’t speak up for ourselves- let people know what we are all about- then we will continually be put into categories we don’t agree with. Don’t hate on labels and categories just because you don’t agree with them, that’s too easy! Fight to change them into something you can agree with, something I can agree with, and something transfolk everywhere can agree with. And of course, fight so that we can find action movies in the action section!

- Natalie

Dating- A Safe Space Discussion This Weds! (At Access Living)


Dating is awkward enough. But throw in difficult conversations about gender and identity into dating, and you never what you're going to get.

Join us for a discussion of all that is wonderful, weird, and usually, a little bit scary.

ACCESS LIVING Conference Room
115 W. Chicago Ave.
Wednesday, Nov. 10
7pm-8:15


Meetings are welcoming and inclusive of people of all identities. Researchers and reporters are forbidden from attending in their professional capacities but may contact genderqueerchicago@gmail.com for more information.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Letter to Esmeralda

by snowlion

Esmeralda,

Tears have watered this oak. These tears brought me to smell England’s rains with a saturation that was so deep it redirected a systemic past of compromise .

But before England I thought was doomed, my embryonic being steeped in phallic false logic, the mechanics of ghost’s motion taking ground, of body language having made me predisposed to someones else's paradigm. Yet I didn’t have a endowment of heritage and education of substance. Being able to dance to the waves of the waltz was just like looking at the stars. Esmeralda I had lots of passion, and no rudder. Yet I have found a way to take control and slow down the minute hand. I took control the of waltz’s metronome and took control of my own steps, of my own fate. I learned how to turn stars into fate.

Light’s heritage, her endowment of rhythm, her cadence to be able to dance to the waves of the waltz, she and I are very much alike. At first, she had not yet arrived as a sister. I am sure you remember about all of this passion Esmeralda, but I was mimicking light’s moves, I was making her a fatalistic idol. At first, I just followed for the sake of the security of her shadow. But now, I have found a way to slow down the minute hand, the waltz’s metronome, and learn light’s lessons and how the relate to me instead of making her story my story.

The air of gender, I wake up to her, I sleep to him, my lover and ever presence taking back time for my victory. Many just dance; no, not dance. They move more like drones to an out of tune brittle oak piano. It is gender, Esmeralda, that has helped me to find and love myself. Some only see it as my hunchback of Notre Dame making foreign shadows with an echoing tone resonant both of a man and a woman and neither at the same time.

The kinship of light and gender is something I have always heard of in terms of should and shouldn't. Time has taken on a more honest path now, less grids without corrosive sewers , less shoulds and shouldn'ts, now more streams that keep the water moving and pure. Thinking about who I am , and who I want seems to be more tangible in these terms Esmeralda , the streams of identity have left me more on an open adventure instead of traffic hour, stuck in the predetermined gender roles, with too many red lights.

Esmeralda I know you have taught me better. How does the wind feel on your skin- on the other side of the bridge ? I wonder if I could visit you some time but alas I have my own mountains to climb. I honestly don't know what is on the other side. It really doesn't matter, just the fact that I have done a feat of this measure will remind me of my potential , of my strength.

Could you please smell the coniferous for me ? For sake of splendor of their verdant life through when light shows the self less.

Waiting for moon to pass
One must not get caught in the undertow.

--snowlion

Friday, November 5, 2010

Howard Brown Issues Urgent Plea for Financial Support


It's rare (actually unheard of) that GqC advertises the fundraising efforts of any major organization, but Howard Brown will cease to operate in 50 days if we don't save it.

CEO, Jamal M. Edwards, issued this urgent request for financial assistance from the community. If Howard Brown cannot raise $500,000 by the end of the year, it will likely close its doors, shutting many in our community off from life-sustaining services that include...

-Gender-affirming/ accessible primary care
-Comprehensive mental health services
-Youth services through the Broadway Youth Center (drop-in programs, advocacy groups, workshops, food, showers, healthcare, STD testing, career development, laundry).
-Support groups
-HIV/AIDS services
-More than 20 public health studies
-Community safer-sex outreach
-Unprecedented support for being needing access to hormones
-Vital community programs

... and so much more.

Howard Brown also employs and works with countless LGBT and gender-variant individuals. Let's save the organization that has been saving all of us. You can donate here.

Is this gay?

The article linked is about a child who wanted to dress up like Daphne for Halloween. The "catch" was that the child was assigned male at birth. The mother let the child, and was very supportive. Which is great by the way.

However, what irked me was that the story was only framed in terms of the child being possibly gay not gender-variant. I am not saying the child is gender variant, I don't know and don't want to speculate on that. What I am saying is that gender variance was not spoken of (only that this was a "cross gendered situation") and that discussions of a male body expressing femininity automatically went to the topic of sexual orientation and excluded gender variance from the discussion. Though in defense of the article, gender variant activities (such as painting ones nails) were not see as problematic, which is nice. However I am still critical of the focus on sexual orientation at the expense of gender variant identities.

I think this kind of overall discourse adversely affects both gay and trans/gender-variant bodies. It pigeon holes gay bodies into this narrow conception built upon assumptions of the campy gay and it erases trans/gender-variant bodies completely from the conversation. More to the point, it collapses gender and sexuality into one category and contributes to the popular discourse that trans is just "super gay."

What do others think?

-b

Thursday, November 4, 2010

SAVE THE DATE!


Talkin' Bout My GENDERation: A Mixer for Queer Youth and Elders

Friday, November 19 from 6-8pm

Join Genderqueer Chicago on November 19th for Talkin' Bout My GENDERation: A Mixer for Queer Youth and Elders! To complement the upcoming vigils for the Transgender Day of Remembrance, we want to honor those we've lost and bring hope to the living through intergenerational mentorship and solidarity. Come to the mixer and get to know folks of all ages and genders. Location TBA!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Letters from Our Readers!

A while ago we asked you send us your letters so we can learn about the folks reading our blog! Here's a recent letter we received from JR! If you'd like to send us a letter or a blog post, email us at genderqueerchicago@gmail.com



dear Genderqueer Chicago,

my name's JR, and i was an undergrad at the University of Chicago, where i spent most of 2004-2009 being anxious and lonely and too often weird to people in some bad ways that i have to think would have been ameliorated at least a little bit if i had given myself time and space to think more expansively than i did about my gender identity, and if i'd sought out more people to talk about that with, or had been more willing to talk about it with the nice people i knew. anyway, i was aware of this group forming just around the time when I was getting ready to leave town, and i never made it to a meeting, but i've been reading the blog since then, gratefully. it's been really helpful to me to know that there are communities like this out there. during this time i've tried twice to be a grad student, and twice in a row it hasn't worked out, and i don't know what will happen now, but whatever it is it'll involve working on mental-health issues that i think are really closely connected to gender dysphoria and gender restlessness going way back, and internalized phobias and other such bad things, and continuing to try to figure out just what kind of queer i am and what kind of place i can find for myself in such a community.

i've appreciated so many of these posts but the ones that come to mind right away as being really helpful to me are Malic's post on pronouns from a while ago, Ianthe's post on Happy Meals from about the same time, and the video you linked to of Red Durkin talking about all kinds of dysphoria, which has lessons that i forget but keep trying to remember. i hope to see ... more of what you've been doing since you started, because it's all been brilliant, or, you know, other things, because those will be brilliant too.

love,
JR

Bad Law, Good Law?

By Andre Perez

At best I feel that the law often fails to protect trans folks and at worst, the most vulnerable members of our community--people of color, homeless folks, sex workers, people who don't pass-- are persecuted by law enforcement officials. In the past week, a couple civil cases (cases where people are suing for money as opposed to jail time) have caught my eye because they highlight trans people using the legal system to try and remedy some of the most egregious mistreatment by officials and others who have power in our lives. The question is: Can we use the law to fight back? Can civil courts be on our side even though criminal courts almost always seem stacked against us?


Transgender driver suing Portland over police stop

Costello & Mains, P.C. Files Transgender Employment and Housing Discrimination Lawsuit

Monday, November 1, 2010

What Makes Me Mad

By Natalie

I spent most of tonight’s meeting trying to think about what makes me mad. For the most part, I’m a pretty chill girl and it really takes a lot to get me going. Strange as it may seem, the people that make me the angriest are my friends, but it’s only because I value their friendship and opinions that they can affect me. I don’t get mad if I meet a stranger who says something I really don’t agree with- instead I just decided that they are an ignorant person and simply not worth anymore of my time.

But, while I was riding the el back I did get mad. I got mad at myself. I got mad at myself for not standing up when my values are offended, I got mad at myself for not caring enough about my values; I got mad at myself for not getting mad. And then I realized something that really got me mad: I’m scared of my trans identity. Whenever I’m at the meetings I always have something to say, but I never do. It’s not because you guys are scary or transpeople in general are scary, but because, deep inside, some part of me is still frightened of the trans identity. I always make excuses for why I never speak: I’m afraid I’ll offend someone, I’m afraid what I say won’t make sense, I’m afraid no one will identify with what I say, I’m afraid someone will think I’m ignorant, but I know those aren’t the real reasons. I’m fine talking to non-trans friends about transitioning, talking to therapists about it, and even people I just met! But when it comes to including myself in a community that I identify with, something about that is frightening.

So I thought about how to fix this. And I decided that I need to start by being true to my identity- defend it when its threatened, help it up when its down, and bring it soup when its sick. When the girl in the hallway tells me that she’s not talking to me because I’m a boy and a boy hurt her feelings and boys are stupid, I will politely tell her that I didn’t ask to be born one, don’t want to be one, and don’t consider myself one. The next time I see my therapist I will ask to be called Natalie instead of Nathan. And the next time I am at GQC I will ask to be called she, her, and hers… and I will most definitely speak my mind.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Extracurricular Activities: Safe Space Discussion Meeting This Wednesday


What do you do outside of work and other than GqC events? Do you see your gender directly shaped in/by these activities? How do you see yourself reflected in these activities? Why are they important and worth your involvement? Join us for a safe space meeting this Wednesday to talk about the extracurricular activities we do and what we enjoy that fills us and our time.

Wednesday, November 3rd
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
7-8:30pm (We're starting right on time from now on, so come before 7 if you don't want to miss out!)

As always this is an inclusive community event, and as such, it is free and open to the public. Reporters and researchers are not to attend in their professional capacities but may contact genderqueerchicago@gmail.com.




People of all ages and abilities encouraged to attend.

The Pomegranate Metaphor

by Ephemera

I bought a pomegranate last week. This morning, I watched its gossamar membranes stretch to their limit before breaking. Juice drizzled down my fingers, oozing from the scarlet kernals, and I let it stain my cutting board.

I remember a third grade me telling the class that pomegranate was my favorite fruit. What was this strange word? There was no one to back me up. Even the teacher turned a scant eye in my direction after this proclamation. I’d try to drawn common ground in our eight-year old lexicon. It was more like corn than apples or oranges but sour like Warheads. I fell short.

Once, I invited my friend over to try one. We nestled into a blanket fort, couch cushions upturned to shield us from my mother’s view. She would have killed us if we stained her couch, but I gingerly pressed my fingers into the skin and pulled it apart. We treated the seeds like jewels, and he was converted.

Now things are different. “Antioxidant” spills off of grocery store shelves and sale people’s lips. I can buy pomegranate juice in every pseudo-bistro and health food store this side of the Loop. I can convince people they’ll like it by evoking words like “elderberry,” “tart,” and “refreshing.” Most of the time I’m grateful for the recognition when I ask the grocery boy where to find it. But every once in a while, I feel like I lost something that used to only belong to me.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

We Still Want Your Mid-west Music

A while ago, I tried to get a music share going, but only got two responses. If you were being shy or didn't get around to it, you have another chance! Give us your musician recommendation or volunteer to listen to music by November 10th.

It's no secret--there's a lot of talent in the queer and trans community of Chicago and the Mid-west. I, for one, am feeling like more of them should be on my Ipod. What's community for if not to turn each other on to new things and share stuff that's great?

Let's highlight some folks who are playing great music locally with a
5 Local Musicians You Outta
Check Out list.

Here's how it works,
Step 1: You send us the name of a musician/band you'd like to recommend AND/OR you send us your contact info if you are interested in being one of our reviewers.
Step 2: We contact the musician/band and ask them to send us some sample music.
Step 3: We match up the music to a listener who then writes a paragraph-long review.
Step 4: Once we get a few, we post them with samples and links to where you can find more of their stuff.
Step 5: Everyone has a better music selection.

If you're interested in being a reviewer or have a musician to recommend, send it to genderqueerchicago@gmail.com

Friday, October 29, 2010

Can a Boy be a Princess for Halloween?

One mother wants to say "yes."

Tribune Reporter, Julie Deardorff, writes of her child's struggle to pick a Halloween costume.

Deardorff reports that her son loves trucks and princesses. But when this 3-year-old decides to go as a princess for Halloween, Deardorff and her husband start to worry that the world will punish their child's choices.

Deardorff tells this touching story with honesty, care, and deep respect for her child's wishes.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Genderqueer Chicago Announces New Meeting Space/ Collaboration with Access Living!


For many months now, we've been looking for a second home for our weekly meetings. We're thrilled to announce we have found one at Access Living (115 W. Chicago Ave.).

Access Living is...

a nonresidential Center for Independent Living for people with all types of disabilities. Access Living programs and services promote the empowerment, independence and inclusion of people with all types of disabilities in every aspect of community life. -Access Living website


From now on, we'll be meeting on the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of the month at Access Living. We'll continue to meet at the Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville) on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays. Check the calendar on this blog, for the most up-to-date information about meeting times and spaces. Our first meeting at Access Living is on November 10th.

We're so excited to collaborate with Access Living, not simply because they're a fantastic organization but also because we believe that disability communities and gender-variant communities can find common cause on so many issues. Further, we hope that its central location will make GqC accessible to people all over the city.

To learn more about the intersections of disability and gender-variant issues, start with trans and disability activist and writer, Eli Clare.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Beautiful Boy

"Beautiful boy
I wish you could hear my thoughts
Maybe then you would understand
And I would hurt you less
But you can't
You can only hear my teeth and the dumb things they say
So I run run till my feet don't hit the ground
Run till I pass out or you
You pass out of my mind or till it makes sense
No restraint no water no money or way home
No sense nonsense
And so I run
All the hurt radiating in and out of you
The hurt you created and the hurt that created me
In and out like the harsh breath over my busted ribs
Cracked out of desperation
Cracked like your thoughts
Beautiful boy how could I hurt you?
Beautiful girl how did I leave you?
Beautiful temptress why did I follow you?
So I run. Run till the thoughts slip out
And I leave you all behind
Leave all my ghosts behind
Beautiful boy I wish you could see my eyes burn too
Read my thoughts and know me
Stubborn words that flow so easily from mind to mind
And hand to hand are trapped behind teeth
And so I remain silent and just breathe
And the small iron chunk around my neck
Pounds back and forth
A steady metronome to chart my sanity
Escape
Shoe soles hitting pavement
Gravel grinding into your soul
Beautiful child I never meant to hurt you
But silence. Silence is all that answers
And so I run

--Asher"

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Anger: Safe Space Discussion This Wednesday


Where does anger come from? Have you found ways in which anger fuels you? Can anger be a vehicle for change? Or destruction? In what ways do you see anger manifest within you and affect your community? Join us for a safe space meeting this Wednesday about all things enraging and what expressing them means.

Wednesday, Oct. 27
The Gerber/Hart Library (1127 W. Granville)
7-8:30pm (We're starting right on time from now on, so come before 7 if you don't want to miss out!)

As always this is an inclusive community event, and as such, it is free and open to the public. Reporters and researchers are not to attend in their professional capacities but may contact
genderqueerchicago@gmail.com.




People of all ages and abilities encouraged to attend.

Website graphics and design by Andre Perez